OKAY LAWYERS, LET’S ALL HAVE A GOOD LAUGH

I do not claim original ownership to this joke. Many thanks to the originator for letting us have a good laugh.

“Mike! Mike! Long time!”

“Yes o”

“Ah! Ah! This caveat on your finger. Have you been attached by any girl?”

“Yes o, last month”

“Na waoh. You did not put us on notice”

“There was urgency so I had to go by motion exparte.”

“Ha!Ha!Ha! Was it Blessing your Law School woman?”

“No”

“Wetin happen?”

“The affair was struck out”

“Who made the application?”

“She did suo motu”

“Why?”

“I was not talking of marriage. She thought I was not serious so she struck it out for lack of diligent prosecution”.

“Where is she now?”

“I don’t know, she is functus officio”

“When did you regularize your position?”

“Last month”

“Is her name on the roll?”

“No. She is not a lawyer”.

“Where is she from?”

“She’s Igbo”

“Ah! You married outside jurisdiction?”
“Yes. But it wasn’t easy. It took time before her parents granted leave”

“What did you do last month? Traditional or white wedding?”

“I frontloaded the process. I did the two on the same day. I needed to avoid cost”

“How did you serve your invitation process?”

“I served by substituted means. SMS”

“Did you serve Blessing?”

“No. She evaded service”

“How?”

“I wanted to serve her orally but she refused to pick my calls”

“How much did you spend?”

“Six……………………………….”

“Does it include its appurtenances?”

“Yes. The white wedding, traditional wedding and every other thing incidental thereto”

“Na wa oh. I’m thinking about getting married seriously”

“Just prepare your processes and go for assessment”

Letter From An Indian Mother To Her Son

You wanna laugh it off? Well, here’s something to make you laugh. It is a letter purported to have been written by an Indian mother to her son.

My dear Jagjit,

I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there.

I’m writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20miles.

I won’t be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I’m not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven’t seen them since.

The weather here isn’t too bad. It rained only twice last week. The First time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club’s poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don’t know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father’s last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.

There isn’t much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love – Mom.

P.S. Jagjit, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.